I noticed that it's been slightly more than a year since my "Institutionalized" post and find it fitting to write down the effects of me being institutionalized back in Vancouver, WA. I look back on what I've accomplished this past year and couldn't think of anything new or extraordinary. When applying for colleges, I could hardly come up with interesting activities that I've participated here that can outweigh what I've accomplished in Shanghai.
Referring back to the quote Red said from Shawshank Redemption:
"These walls are kind of funny. First you hate 'em, then you get used to 'em. Enough time passes, gets so you depend on them. That's institutionalized."
I didn't necessarily see me hating the "walls of Vancouver, WA" when I first moved back nor did I really get used to them. It took me about a year to adjust and accept Shanghai. It's been about a year and a half now and I still feel rather..bland about living here. Sure there are a few good things that have happened including cool new people that I have met, but I guess that most of them just won't really matter that much. I can only really see 3 or 4 meaningful friendships lasting through college.
I don't see myself as a very attachable kind of person and will be forgotten easily by most people or at least be forgotten as being an influencial person. I basicaly am the person who people won't make an effort to try and contact just to find out what's going on. Of course they'll revert to the age-old excuse of not having any of my contact information. Though that may be true in some cases, there have been way more cases of just them not making an effort. How do I know? They make the effort for other people and they know very well how to contact me through many mediums. I'm not angry at this really, but it has made me wonder exactly how easily am I to be forgotten.
I've observed how others have made an effort to stay in touch with people that have left and was left to wonder, how come when I left those same group of people, I never got the same treatment. I'm not saying this in any envious way, just simply stating an observation. What exactly is it that makes me so forgetable? Maybe I was supposed to work for the Department of Defense because of my unique trait of being very forgetable since I can recall that was one of the stereotypical preferences they have when trying to be a government agent. Oh well.
So would I say that I've been institutionalized in Vancouver, WA? Not at all really. I really can't wait to get out of here and start something completely new for college. It's as if I can only stay in one place for a total of 4 years before it starts to get redundant or I start to get redundant. Do I think I will be institutionalized before the school year ends? Probably not mainly because my mind's already somewhere else due to the lack of any purpose in staying here. I only mentally come back once in a while to be mentally active for those who are worth keeping in touch with.
It may sound harsh, but that's just the way it is. And besides, it's coming from me and if you are offended by this, don't worry--you'll soon forget about it anyway. If you think you are one of those people who I like to spend lots of time talking with, then you probably are one.
On a side note, I don't know where to go for college. I got accepted into Calvin College, A Christian college in Michigan, which is actually a fairly good college. I am now awaiting to hear from other colleges in which I predict will be mainly rejection letters.
And that is all for today! I welcome myself back to Blogspot
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