红包 (Red Packets) are Better Than Valentine Cards

It just so happens that this year's Chinese New Year falls on February 14, trumping the pointless Hallmark Holiday. Unfortunately, I do not have any family around this year to receive any money. Oh well. I did receive a hefty check from my former land owner though for the deposit on the house I lived in last semester, so whoo. I just need to open a bank account and cash it.

I think there was a Chinese New Year party thing today somewhere on campus, but I forgot to go. I went to studio instead and finished up my work. Then I went back home and called my parents to wish them a happy new year. They both seem to be pretty happy now considering their current job situation, so that's good. My mom still wonders why I put myself through architecture. My dad just laughs in the background. They also said that they will take me out when I next see them in May/June for my 21st birthday. It's kind of weird to be turning 21 in less than a month.

I have been feeling pretty inadequate lately. Because I have transferred and the way how architecture programs work, I am basically now 2 years behind everyone I grew up with. I used to always be the one ahead and am frustrated when I am forced to be held back such as with the IB math and physics in high school and at community college the past two years. Now I am split between the two peer groups--the juniors and seniors in college and the freshmen. The maturity gap between the two is actually quite large and is difficult to adjust to both--especially when most people had considered me being much more mature than most people my age.

Many of my friends from high school are now getting into internships and doing cool projects that are preparing them for their futures while I am still doing first year architecture sitting at my table practicing letterings--which I've already done during my freshman year at community college (albeit it's slightly different between engineering and architecture lettering). When talking with them and they talk about what they have been doing these days, I really feel like I'm missing out on where I am supposed to be. But being a first year architecture student, I don't really have a high chance of finding any kind of summer internships and what not. I can technically graduate in 2012--which is only being one year behind. However, scheduling conflicts and such will most likely result in me graduating in 2013. My parents are pushing for me to finish college as soon as possible--which I would like to do, but I just have a feeling it won't happen. I guess it kind of adds some kind of pressure, but not enough that would affect my performance. However, it is still a small thought that is constantly in the back of my head.

I know that things happen for a reason and that it probably is a good thing that I'm going to be in school a bit longer and that increases the chances of the economy improving by the time I have to join the work force. It just feels like I'm losing touch with the group of people I grew up with because I am not in the same positions as they are anymore. I think I have already even mentioned them as 'former peers' somewhere earlier in this post, but it really kind of has come down to being them and me rather than we. I don't know if I am making any sense right now.

I was chatting with an old high school friend online very very late last night (her 1-2am, my 4-5am) who is also in a similar situation as me. It was kind of nice knowing that there are people I know who are in the same boat. We didn't really talk all that much during high school and we still don't really talk all that much now--but once in a while we will and it puts my mind at ease with this whole situation.

Anyhow, during our conversation, I realized that the hobbies that I have developed over the years may have been related to me moving around a lot. I don't know why, but I have found that most of my friends will usually stop talking to me after the second year when either one of us moves to another location. Most SMIC and Shanghai friends (7-10th grade) stopped talking during my senior year of high school (some a lot more abrupt than others), most River friends (Junior/Senior year of high school) friends stopped talking during my sophomore year of college in Seattle, etc. I'm not a person who usually makes friends easily because I'm not a really social person with people I don't know and I don't really enjoy the whole party scene. This usually results in a lot of down time I guess and lack of socialization with others.

The main hobbies that I enjoy the most would be photography, playing the guitar, and playing various sports. All three of these hobbies I can enjoy by myself and don't need to be social with other people. I can be within myself and not interact with others. I can just walk around and photograph random things; I can play guitar in my room and write some songs; I can shoot some hoops in the gym. However, all three are also things that I can enjoy with the company of other people when the opportunities present themselves. I don't really know where I am going with this, but it's just something that was interesting. I have never really connected them together like this before the conversation last night.

Anyhow, 1 more minute until it is February 14 Eastern Time. So Happy Chinese New Year!