A Rededication of Sorts

Over the course of the past two weeks, I have been physically and mentally exhausted from studio. It has gotten to a point where I even started to get affected emotionally as well. Two weeks--14 days--10 school days and 4 days of weekends. I have tried on my own and I have failed to accomplish anywhere near acceptable work even on my own standards. This semester and year will be a hard one for me in terms of studio work load--which will inevitably make every aspect of this semester and year difficult to survive. I have come to accept that my efforts won't be good enough to get me by this year--not at this pace at least. And this pace doesn't seem to be slowing down anytime soon either.

It is now one of those times (though should be all the time) where I can do nothing more than simply let God work through my life again, then, everything will sort itself out. I believe it will happen because it has happened before over and over again. I can only lift up myself into the Lord's hands and allow Him to help me get through all of this.

During these hard times when I question what I have gotten myself into, I listen to music to try and just zone out from reality a bit. The two songs that have always popped out at me are Relient K's "Getting into You" and "For the Moments I Feel Faint". I have also been blessed with friends who send me other songs right when I need them--even though they have no idea what I've been going through. Some of these songs include Stellar Kart's "Me and Jesus", "Hold On", and "Wishes and Dreams" and Tenth Avenue North's "By Your Side". I gladly share these songs with others because they are encouraging.

Studio life is going to take a lot of sacrifices to survive. Initially, I thought that these sacrifices would come from my social life, enjoyment of video games, basketball, and my music and photography hobbies. However, I now realize that the sacrifice I actually have to make is control over my life once again.

I've let go.